Ariah Park Golf Fifteen players took to the course on Saturday to play a par event sponsored by our Pommy the "Colonel" Tim Sanders and it turned out to be a beautiful day for golf mostly sunny all day. The golfy is looking terrific at the moment with plenty of grass cover but still some bare patches around but hopefully in the foreseeable future we will get on top of this issue. But at the moment it's a work in progress (so to speak) and more pine trees and dead branches are getting the chop and we are working on ridding the place of briar bushes. To have that many players turn up speaks volume for our small club with people enjoying playing golf. So, feel free to rock up on Saturdays 12 noon for a game of hit/miss. Rocky and Barry had the dubious chore of putting players to scorecards and after Rocky pulling his hair out, they finally accomplished the task (no easy feat I might add). So, the teams were read out as follows: Nappa and Rocky, Tim and Merrill, Nodza and Marney, Pikey and Perko, Pete and Jackson, Barry and Garry, Camo, Maree and Zac. So, we were sent to our allotted hit off tees to await the dreaded shotgun start – always sends the galahs to flight and the rabbits down their burrows, plus the poor campers at the caravan park. Well, enough said, they get the crap scared out of them (just kidding). So, Barry took Garry Oaks who was over from Weethalle for a game and Garry took a strong liking to our scrub and poor bloke. He ended up lost in the forest trying to retrieve a wayward ball, but Barry came to the rescue and helped the poor fellow to get back on track, old Barry knows every tree in that forest and all the shortcuts out of it. Rocky and I found trouble on our first hole both finding woodwork before finally having a putt and as we both agreed it could only get better. Well, we hoped. Nodza played his daughter Marney, and he was very confident of getting the chocolates but in fact he got his arse kicked big time. Never underestimate the power of a woman Nodza. Lesson learnt pal. Pikey and Perko were all over the shop and never really got going. We think Pinky had other things on his mind (a lady friend) and Perko was still in birthday mode. Tim and Merrill were also just out for the ride as neither played to their potential and struggled on occasions although both players did show some brilliance or luck, but there is always next time. I think the "Pom" was trying to win the tree hitting prize and I might add he nearly pulled it off too. Camo, Maree and Zac had their chances also with the occasional top shot but not enough good shots to worry the scorer. Pete and son Jackson must have played good golf to return a good card in between hitting trees and lost balls, but they went on to blitz the field so well-done guys. There were plenty of mishaps from some (up to no good golfers) and my spies will tell me later of your shenanigans so beware of my poison pen okay. The sound of ball hitting timber was overwhelming at times with the poor galahs having all sorts of trouble landing in trees and were safer to just stay on the grass in the middle of the fairways (which they did). Smart birds we have out here and the poor rabbits just stayed indoors for the day. The golf did produce some brilliant shots made by not so brilliant golfers (luck plays a big part sometimes) with Rocky again chipping in for a birdie from 40 metres out (now a habit). Pikey using his driver on the par three. "I'll just punch it down the middle," he said, and Pikey being of sound mind did just that to end up 12 inches from the hole for a tap in birdie. Easy game this golf he reckons. "Yeah right." But the shot of the day goes to visitor Garry who holed his ball inside a bucket next to the flower bed. How he managed to get it in there is anyone's guess. So well done Gaz, you made the paper. Camo shanked his tee shot on the 3rd and ended up under ‘Kev's tree’ unlike him, but I laughed so much I nearly did the same thing. Bloody hell Camo, it's rubbing off on some of us. Also, Maree had a blonde moment having misplaced her ball after putting. She had Camo and Zac searching everywhere only for Camo to inform her that it was in her hand. What are they doing to you Ree Ree. So, after a great day of golf, laughter, adventure, sightseeing, scrub bashing and wildlife spotting it was back to the clubhouse for a well-earned drink and a lovely meal of shepherd's pie cooked by our lovely Jane Sanders and boy was it nice, as was Perko's birthday cake made by Maree. Thanks ladies. Winner this week: • Jackson – R/U Pete • N.T.P. 3rd – Pinky • N.T.P. 5th – Maree (beautiful shot over the pine trees) Novelty prizes: • Won by Pete and Jacko • Most trees – Jackson (and still won) Lost balls: • Jacko 1 • Pete 1 (over the fence) • Rocky 1 (fence) • Marney 1 • Merrill 1 • Tim one somewhere • Garry 3 (lost in space or forest) But it was an enjoyable day regardless of results and hope to see as many as we can next week. Cheers, Preferred Lies Coolamon Golf The dog days of winter have arrived with the fury of a thousand starving polar bears, and the scores are mirroring its icy grip. Didn’t stop the mighty Clint Graham having one of the greatest weekends of his life. He played out of his skin to win Saturday’s Monthly Medal sponsored by Leah O’Brien and then provided the evening’s entertainment with his Heavy Metal band for the teeming thousands of Coolamon heavy metal fanatics. It was a fortuitous choice because his number was drawn in the members jackpot later that evening netting him a cool $2000 on top of his golfing prize. For Clinton, it was like reclining on a bed of roses in the Garden of Eden, listening to Black Sabbath full volume, dining on food prepared by a Michelin Master Chef, quaffing the finest Champagne whilst being surrounded by bevy of scantily clad super models. It was a day beyond his wildest dreams, and some of them have been really wild. Runner up was Daniel Milne despite a litany of whinging and complaining about his golf game, none of which emanated from his golfing partners. It looks as if now he has secured a LIV contract. Unfortunately, with the crowds and money evaporating, his signing fee was a stale bun retrieved from a rubbish container, a cup of cold coffee - sans milk and sugar and a free burial at sea with a Collingwood supporter of his own choice. The ball rundown included Gav Stephenson, Leanne Hooper and Adam Carroll while Honey Steiner took home the pink ball to add to the longest shot prize on the 18th. Leanne also won the daily raffle and Bruce Chant’s putter ran hotter than a magma bath with a mere 20 putts on the day to claim the putting prize. The other astonishing news from Saturday night which has all Coolamon agog was the actions of President Stu Seymour who added to his booming reputation as a bona fide superhero. Otherwise known as The Bodyguard: Protector of the Poor, Defender of the Dispossessed, Hero of the Homeless, Saviour of the Sickly, Nemesis of the Nasty, Curse of the Corruptors and Champion of the Chinese. Stu stepped in when our new Chinese restaurant proprietor was hassled by some drunken buffoon. The subsequent affray ended satisfactorily. Actually Sunny, the victim, misheard Stu’s name. She called him ‘Scott’ in a Facebook post profusely thanking him. This led some readers to mistakenly think the hero was none other than Bon Scott. Thankfully they were mistaken because if Bon was involved the perpetrator would’ve ended up with no arms, no teeth and a nose pushed so far down his throat he would’ve been pushing tissues up his arse to blow it. Anyway, Stu won’t have to pay for a Chinese meal anytime soon. All exaggeration aside, it was a brilliant response from Stewie. It’s a lesson to all males. The behaviour you ignore is the behaviour you accept. Sunday dawned cold and damp but didn’t deter 14 hardy souls from a game. The winner was Sandy Wilson who has discovered the land of milk and honey such has been her successes since joining Royal Coolamon and moving to our beautiful town. Runner up was Gav Stephenson on a count back from Wow McLaughlin with Sylvia Spring rounding out the prize rundown The pink ball was again claimed by Graeme Maslin on a count back from Tom Goss. Both suffered a swift descent from the glories of the previous week, from dazzling Chrysanthemums to ugly cape weed in one seven-day stretch. It’s a salutary lesson. Golf can take you from the Empyrean heights of ecstasy one week to the earth’s core depths of misery the next. It’s a game for schizophrenics. Novelty prizes both days included Karen Hilton, Leonie Dennis, Gav Stephenson, Leanne Hooper Sandra Wilson, Ray Jennings, Bruce Chant, Bryan Buchanan, Tom Goss, Gail O’Brien Trev Jose and Wayne Kew. This will be my last report for some weeks. If you need your golfing fix hook into the Daily Advertiser with its all-encompassing all sports coverage. Just make sure you have a magnifying glass handy. Women's Golf On Saturday, 27 June, sixteen women played a Stableford event, sponsored by Cathy New. Winner on the day, with 34 points, was Wendy McCrone. Runner up was Nat Irvine on 33 points. Ball winners were Deb Block (31), CB from Helen Miller (31), Nora Saffioti (30), CB from Margaret Townsend (30), CB from Rhonda Shuck (30). NTP 3rd was Di Starling, 7th was Nora Saffioti for a Coffee Bar on Hoskins voucher, 12th was Cathy New and 16th was Deb Block for a Courtyard Café voucher. Birdies went to Nora Saffioti on the 7th, Deidre Flakelar on the 12th, Deb Block on the 16th. Gobbles went to Deb Noack on the 10th, Deidre on the 12th and Deb Block on the 16th. Saturday 4 July is Monthly Medal/WGM, Sponsor Diamonds and Dust. Wednesday 8 July is a two person Ambrose, sponsor Shamrock Chinese. Sunday Golf On Sunday we played a two person Ambrose with 36 players taking part. The course is looking immaculate at the moment with great grass coverage across the fairways - just in time for the Annual Temora Open weekend in August. This event also doubled as a qualifier for the NSW golf two person Ambrose competition. Each player required three drives per nine holes. Winners of the day were Trevor Krause and Aaron Coddington who combined very well to shoot a four under par 67 for a 63 nett. Runners up were juniors Harper and Hugh Block who also had a great round of 74 for 66 nett. Ball comp: Steve Block and Dallas McKelvie 66 3/4 nett Colin McCrone and Bill Ingram 68 nett Dave Armitage and Brendan Free 69 nett Ray Jenning and Nora Saffioti 69 nett Ntps: 3rd - untouched 7th - Anthony Abra 1.52m 12th - Dave Armitage 2.13m 16th - Dave Loftus 2.16m Golf on Sunday 5 July is the men’s monthly medal with the Westpac individual matchplay round of 16 to be played. Reminder that these matches need to be played before or on Sunday. The registrations for the Open weekend on 1 and 2 August are also open so get in and book your spot. Vet's Golf If Mal Krause (11) was going to win round 10 of the Intersales Cup last Thursday, he needed something special to happen, and assistance from some of the other players. After an average front nine, Mal needed to knuckle down and steady the ship. He did just that with birdies on the par-5 11th and the par-5 17th. A 39 off the stick for his back nine got him home on a countback with a net 72. Mal sank a nervous putt for bogey on the 18th and that was enough to ensure first place was his. We only play for a $30.00 club voucher, but the pressure is there. One missed putt, and the next guy wins. That is the beauty of the game. Runner-up to Mal was Dave Loftus (6) also with a net 72. The $10.00 club voucher put the smile back on Dave’s dial. Dave missed his putt for par on the 18th, and there you go. Ball winners were: Sharon Wilmot (24) net 73, Aaron Coddington (5) net 75, Phil Bleyer (14) net 75 c/b, Neville Elwin (10) net 75, Mike Daley (11) net 76, Barry Flakelar (7) net 77. Intersales points: Mal Krause 6, Dave Loftus 5, Sharon Wilmott 4, Phil Bleyer 3, Neville Elwin 2. The other vets who played and returned a score receive a point for their participation on the day. Nearest the pins: 7th Di Starling 3.7 metres, 12th Warren Bremer 5.29 metres, 16th Dave Loftus 3.7 metres. Drive and chip: 3rd was won by Trevor Jose with 1.5 metres, the 8th went to Phil Freddy Lee with 5.81metres. The mighty skins: Division 1, Mal Krause won six for $6.00. Ray Jennings and Phil Bleyer 4. Aaron Coddington 3 for $3.00. The kitty banked a $1.00 towards our barbeque fund. The mighty skins: Division 2, Richard Starling won 9 for $9.00, Gary Lavelle 3, and the kitty banked a healthy six towards our barbeque fund. Which I might add is building nicely. Shot of the day: This could have gone to any number of players this week. Trevor Jose (Coolamon S and RC) played some absolute awesome shots. The same goes for Nifty Nev. Nifty hit some beautiful drives and approach shots. Even Dave Loftus had one shot that was worthy of a mention, but the shot that Aaron Coddington produced on the par-4 10th was the pick of the bunch. Now Aaron hits a big ball, we all know that, but his drive on the 10th only made it to the Black Box gum tree on the left. It’s normally down near the 100-metre marker. I didn’t ask about the club he selected for his second shot; maybe I should have, but it doesn't matter. He belted the hell out of that poor ball and it finished almost behind a tree to the left of the cart bridge that takes you to the 11th tee box area. A massive hit with an iron. Knowing Aaron’s strength, I’ll take a guess and say it was his 5-iron. Aaron’s ball was just past the tree and on the mound, approximately 30 metres from the green. So, try to picture it: Aaron has to stand on top of the mound with the ball about 30 centimetres below his feet. He had to negotiate the tree, the pain in the backside seedpods that the tree drops, he had to avoid the ramp to the cart bridge, and then negotiate the humps and bumps, and then have enough pace on the ball to make its way to the green through that lovely grass we call kykuyu. Aaron's ball did all of that and then some. After his ball survived its ordeal, it made its way onto the green. The ball hit the flagstick and caught the edge of the hole, finishing a tap-in behind the hole. It could have been the best birdie I had ever witnessed, either by a pro golfer or an amateur, and most probably the best birdie Aaron would have ever made. It was a time where one wishes they had taken a video of the moment, as it was surely a shot to remember. Yes, he hits them big, but he also has a deft touch around the greens. His handicap of four suggests he is more than capable with a club in his hand. I think Aaron might have a good chance in the Temora Open this August. Next Thursday, 2 July, we play for points in the Delta Ag Shield Stableford event. Player’s please note: please try to arrive at the course on time. This will benefit the starter, and it’ll make his job a lot easier. Alternatively, if you are going to be late, give him a call. He can then submit your name to the starting list, allowing for a smoother process for the selection of groups, etc. Congratulations to Mal on his win, and we’ll do it all again next week. Fingers crossed that the rain holds off until we finish.
